Layers of Lies

I thought it was simple. When I started a journey to walk by the Spirit and end my years of spending and eating by turning my decisions over to God. I would simply remember to turn to God one choice at a time.  Why hasn't anyone every tried this before, it's revolutionary. Amazed at the wisdom of my years I began. However as I began to unweave the web of motivations that went into my daily decision I realized the process was going to be anything but simple. As Layer after layer gets peeled back to uncover the deception that has become our mindset, until we arrive at the true focus of our affections, to feed our desires, which by the way, I had thought was God. I would need to start at my deepest point of surrender, and painfully admit that I had wanted to be free of these habits for me, not because they effected my relationship with Him.  As the truth of God’s love and His desire for my freedom have become clear to me, the subtle lies that I had believed became as blatant as black on white. We have had them whispered in our ear for so long we adopted them without hesitation. The deceiver quietly croons; Give yourself a break, it's just one,People don’t change, who really cares about you or what you do, you deserve to have, you don’t deserve anything, that’s not fair, accept it that’s just the way you are, who are you really hurting?

Over and over we hear and see the messages until before you know it, we are quoting them like they’re the Bible itself.  Words of wisdom, television, movies, documentaries, talk shows, books and saying all jumbles together to become the code we live by and judge the world with. No wonder we feel lost and confused. Not that we shouldn't seek counsel and read books, but they should not become our source of truth, they should be guiding us to Him. Spending and Eating may have been the catalyst, but the decisions that brought me to a place of surrender are so much deeper. Walking with the spirit involves every word, every thought, every cent and every bite that consume my day. Although this sounds daunting and overwhelming, the truth is casting all my cares on Him has proven to be a process toward freedom from the worries of performing. The rules, diets, and standards of those around me are gone to be replaced by His spirit searching my motives one at a time.  

Missteps are a learning process that God uses to remind me of my need to rely on him, it's a process, a conversation and a dance between a loving parent and a grateful child.  It’s a matter of waiting on God in a society of judgment and instant gratification. Every choice, every hour, every day.