Giving Myslelf A Break

There are two ways to look at most things in life; challenges versus opportunities, positive versus negative, victim or overcomer......


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Over the years when I have found myself with the credit card in my hand, the cake in my mouth or the words leaving my lips wondering (as chew the cake); How did I get here? I was going to stop doing.........I then proceed to beat myself up mentally for the rest of the evening, and in the process ruin whatever moments or interactions I could have shared with the people around me. Being impulsive was a part of me I hated. It never occurred to me that my impulsiveness was also something that made me more able to flex when things changed, or brought fun and life into my relationships.

I have changed my outlook on this.
I now look at impulsive thoughts as an opportunity to get to know myself and my thinking patters better. I can choose to change them, but only when I see them causing me to be out of balance. There are times they are a positive force for myself and others. I am learning to observe myself, and not throw the baby out with the bathwater. There are parts of me, I really like.
 I will see myself moving toward a potential moment and say to me "that's interesting, I wonder why you feel the pull towards that right now? Is this a time you need to (eat, spend or speak), or is this a time you need to (be still, listen or wait)? What could you do to change that habit and not have to deal with the negative consequences later?" By doing this I have found a number of small things I can do to change these behaviors at the place they start. I have also found out that by doing this I am able to enjoy myself and others more. Let's face it consequences and guilt are a total buzz kill.
The methods I have chosen as reminders for myself may sound quirky, but that's because I am quirky. I'm guessing you might be quirky, in your own way, as well. 
Here are some thing that are working for me;

• When I find myself not listening to the person in front of me, because I have something I want to say; I take a pen and make a small mark on my thumb, then I choose not to speak, unless there is a break in the conversation and I have thought through what and if I need to say anything at all. Throughout the conversation I count the marks on my thumb and feel great about the times I have been quiet and listened.
• When I feel the urge to grab a bite of food, but am not hungry; I play with the rings I am wearing and remind myself that I can sip a cup of tea. There will be food in the world when I am hungry  later, and it's not like I haven't tasted chocolate cupcakes before.
• When I am tempted to go spend money because I have some time to kill; I have a little rock in my car that says "stopspeating" on it. I play with the rock and remind myself that I will regret it later as I only carry cash and will need it for the rest of the week. Then I find a coffee shop instead where I can sit and make phone calls or return emails.
• For each reminder I have very specific words I repeat to myself. The baby Mantra's become a part of my thinking so habitually that I can feel the rock in my hand even when I don't have it with me.

These are things that work for me. You might choose a rubber band, playing with keys, chewing on a toothpick, or some other thing that works for you. Its the words you say in your head that will make the difference. Change your thinking, change you life!  Little by little my thoughts and habits are changing, one choice at a time.
Whenever you feel the process is moving to slow ask yourself; Where will you be next year at this time if you do nothing? Are you closer or further from your goal this year than you were last year?
As long as you are going forward, you are making progress.