The Difference Journal Day 2: Fasting Problems

catholicjokesandcomics.com

For years I was intrigued by, and obsessed with fasting. I would quiz people who had been able to accomplish multiple days, and plan my own adventures with the practice.  I would buy or make the special juices, and carefully plan my days of enlightenment. True to form however, the planning phase days, were my best days. I would talk people into these long 10 day fasts, finish two, find a reason to stop, and morosely observe as they finish the entire fast. This went on for a number of years. I never made it past two days, even with the special juice.
 

Of course the problem was in my head; my head is a favorite place for problems to hang out, and party.

 
"They" say; its all a matter of motivation. "They" say; If you wanted it bad enough you would: lose the weight, save the money, or stop doing whatever behavior is plaguing you. This was true for me. My goal had been to lose weight, even though I tried to pretend I was fasting from some higher spiritual cause or to get closer to God. I really just wanted to fit into smaller jeans. The pain of hunger wasn't worth the price. I can honestly say after years of saying " I'll start again tomorrow", I stopped, and my thinking has shifted. My goal now is to not allow anything other than the Holy Spirit to have that much control of my head and heart, including how to lose weight. The fasting, or weight loss had become the idol.

Now fasting is habit I am forming between hunger pains.

Fasting is still my goal, but now I "sprint fast", from one hunger pain to the next. The reason I fast now is to learn to not think about food unless I need to be eating. When I do eat, I try to eat I try to be smart about my choices. I am learning to walk with the Holy Spirit from hunger to hunger. It sounds easy, but it's tougher than you think. Food and eating, or not eating, had taken God's place in my life. I am learning to eat only enough to not be hungry and then sprint fast again. As I fast I remind myself that food was never a great "god", it betrayed me every time. God gave me food because He is good, I am putting them both back in their rightful places.

#onechoiceatatime #walkwiththespirit #thedifference
 
 
Hope