Pain is A Fork in the Road

I wanted to curl up and sleep at the base of the stairs. The thought of walking up two painful flights to get to the bedroom was gut wrenching. I had been a little to enthusiastic with my work out the day before, and now the price had to be paid. I tried going up sideways to give my thighs a break. When will I learn?
Pain and Fear are interesting bed mates.

Pain is like a road sign telling us to STOP and take notice. For example: A shy person is "afraid" to speak up. They prefer to stay unnoticed. When confronted by a situation that involves any type of spotlight, they feel FEAR! On the flipside, a person that loves the spotlight might be afraid of being left out or unliked. We all have fears. My fears may not make sense to you, but they are just as real.
When walking down life's road we are faced with a fear. Fear requires a choice.

Let's call the fear a snake.

I see the snake and feel fear. Why? because snakes can cause PAIN. Now I have to decided what to do based on the amount of pain involved. Is it a big snake or a small snake. Is it poisonous or safe? Is it close? Can I get around it?
Fight or Flight?
In the case of a poisonous snake, flight is a good and rational response. There is no benefit to fighting him.
In the case of a little ole garden snake, it all depends on how important your destination is.

Fear is based on Pain. The amount of fear is based on the amount of pain we perceive will be caused by the thing we fear.
Why does this matter? For me it is the obstacle that had kept me from victory over habits for 25 years.

I have been taught to avoid pain and discomfort of any kind. Because of this I  have jumped around and missed out on the benefits on the other side of perceived pain.

Fear of missing out on fun stops me from staying where I am and finishing the task in front of me. Fear of all cake disappearing from the world, and the mall burning down tomorrow, stops me from letting food or purchases pass me by. Fear of not telling my great story stops me from being a good listener. Fear of being bored pushes me to spend or eat when I am not hungry and don't need a thing. Fear of being a bad mother can cause me to be too permissive, or the opposite. Fear of being others judging me by my children can cause me to be a drill sergeant parent.
Fear of facing emotional or sometimes physical pain causes us to avoid, run, and even hide from good things in our lives. When faced with fear on our journey we have to choose. We have to decide how important our destination is.
This was Eve's fear in the garden. She was afraid of missing out on what the fruit had to offer. The perceived fear was a lie, and she lost it all.
For me the fear is the pain of thinking I can't change, a lie I have believed. Facing my failures can be painful. Hunger is pain, boredom is a kind of emotional pain, staying in the tension caused by this pain has been easily remedied with food and spending; and just like the day after a crazy workout I am paying the price. When will I learn.


Pain can be good and Pain can be bad. Good pain is like a door. The pain of a "sensible" workout can be the door to a stronger body. The pain of allowing hunger to guide your eating can be the door to weight loss. The pain of serving and loving people can open up to  relationships. It all depends on your motivation, and who you place your faith in.

The next series of blogs will camp on the subject of Fear and Pain. As we learn to embrace "good pain" and persevere we will find our fears were standing in the way of some beautiful scenery in our lives.

Hope Wirta