I Might Be a Brat

photo by mochadad.com

We look for peace, but hate to be bored. We want intimacy and friendship, but are afraid of being known and rejected. We want to be loved for who we are, but get easily irritated by others. We want to be appreciated, but don't appreciate who and what we have.
We don't make sense.
Yesterday, I got my feelings hurt. The person apologized, but I didn't like the apology. My mode of payback "silence", or one word answers the rest of the day, CLASSY! I think I made myself more miserable than the other person. The rest of my day was spent in a silent personal battle. My brain went into survival mode and looked for things to make me feel happy again, when all I really needed to do was forgive and move on. It took every ounce of strength I had not to pour my pity into chocolate.
Parenting myself is exhausting.
I am so grateful that God is patient and longsuffering, I can be a real brat sometimes.